As a pastor I have been called to homes immediately following death by suicide. What I witness is a loss felt deeper than any other loss can be felt. It is a loss than sends shock waves through the air of the surrounding community. A death by suicide does not only impact the person that has died it impacts everybody around them too. It changes so many lives forever.

The most common question I am asked by the families and friends who have experienced the loss followed by death by suicide is WHY? Followed closely by the guilt vortex of, “If only I had…”

Death by suicide is an action borne out of desperation, great pain and mental illness. It is not a selfish act. Do not blame yourself if someone close to you commits suicide. It is not your fault.

Where suicide was once packed away in the shadows of society, we are evolving to openly discussing the existence of suicide; Its unrelenting pain and depression that leads up to the final act and the mental illness that accompanies the process.

If you are concerned or have questions, don’t hesitate to contact the National Suicide Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255.

Ms. Chon Pugh is Lutheran pastor and a private counselor specializing in individual and family issues.